Roll No.49
L. Beimokhai
It was the month of February, and the “back to school” season was just around the corner. Children of our ages were busy deciding on which school they should be admitted to; not only me, but our elders and parents too, are busy deciding where to let us attend the school for this coming session. As for me, I grew up in a poor family. I could not get into private school since we could not afford to pay the monthly school fees. I was admitted to the free government school for Class X.
Sometimes, I would feel so stressed about how I could not get to attend the same school as my friend. Yet, it’s not about the school or the environment; it’s the fact that I could not get the chance to be with my friends, and that hurts me the most. As time went by, school finally started, while the others were happily playing with their friends, but I didn’t even have any friends to go with for lunch break, and I would never go home in the afternoon. So, alone, I would wait for the next class to start.
I was a shy person and not outgoing like all my other friends were. And I come from a low-income family where we face many challenges and stress that other families do not. I never had all the textbooks and uniforms on time. In the classroom and outside, just before we started the class teachings, there were many times when our teachers would gather us together, and I was punished along with others for not having all the textbooks and uniforms. I’d always feel like I was a total loser, and I’d be so ashamed of myself.
One day, when the school bell rang, all the students were in line, and one of our teachers was assessing our uniforms. I was ordered to stand aside along with the other students because I did not have school socks. As I stood there so ashamed and stunned, a girl came to me and said, “Aiden, you don’t have a belt? For me, they caught that I didn’t wear socks as I washed them, and it has not dried up yet. If you need a belt, I can lend you mine. What do you say?!” I was speechless as soon as I heard the voice.
I looked up at her face just as I heard the voice. She was a kind sweetheart, fresh like flowers, thin but healthy, and had a beautiful eye. I was feeling surprised and astounded at the same time when someone called me by my name, that too from the one whom I never knew. “Nooonooonooo, its nothing about the belt; its about my sock for me as well, thank you,” I answered. Soon, they let her get in as she explained to herself how her sock was being washed and not yet dried. But for me, I was punished for never going to school until I had a sock.
I went home feeling very sad, and while I was thinking about the difficulties of our family, a thought popped out of the girl who kindly tried to give me her belt. Who will be that merciful girl? Among the many who were punished for not having uniforms, she directly approached me without hesitation, and I cannot forget the fact that she tried to lend me her belt, and her way of expressing sympathy is unforgettable.
I could not continue school for a week; there’s not a single day that goes by. I prayed that I would be able to attend classes and have all the textbooks and uniforms. Luckily, The Lord answered my prayers now that I have my own school sock. Tears rolled down as my father gave me money to buy socks. Don’t blame me; I was overjoyed. I was afraid that people would see my tears, so I went straight to my room and thanked God for answering my prayers.
The first thing that came to mind was a person with whom I never got acquainted, with whom I don’t even know her name-none other than the one who tried to lend me her belt on the day that I got punished. I was thinking, ‘Will she be happy for me if she knows that I got to restart the classes? Will she be talking politely to me like last time?,’ To tell the truth, I was thinking about her all the time during my leave; it clearly shows that she was such a kind-hearted girl just by looking at her face and her way of expressing her thoughts and feelings.
The next day, I had the money to buy socks, and I had the chance to see someone whose name I didn’t know, which got me so excited and overwhelmed. I was thrilled and excited to start school again. Reaching the school safe and sound before the arrival of other students, I rushed to the school office to buy socks, wear them right away, and play peacefully with my friends.
Thoughts filled my mind about that mysterious girl, one who showed sympathy while I got punished by the teachers the other day. There are millions of questions running through my veins, and I don’t think I’d have the guts to talk to her at first. How am I going to start the conversation when I didn’t even get her name? Since I don’t have the guts to ask the name of that mysterious girl, I made the decision that when the teacher called for attendance, I would for sure record her roll number. Then, I waited patiently for the school bell to ring.
The school bell rang at 9:30 a.m. as usual, not like the other day. The tone of today’s school bell was beautiful and pleasant to listen to, because no one would dare let me go home for not having school socks. Besides, the thought that I had the chance to meet that mysterious girl gave me new excitement in my heart.
The school children were all lined up on the school ground. I was secretly searching for that mysterious girl; sadly, I didn’t see any trace of her. I thought, ‘Did she get punished like the other day?’. After a while, I saw her standing on the side-lines. While I was staring at her, she suddenly turned her face towards me, and we accidentally made eye contact. My heart skipped a beat and bowed quickly out of embarrassment.
The teacher checked the uniforms to maintain school discipline, but by the grace of God, I skipped the punishment this time. Sadly, some students go through the same punishment as last time. I felt pitied for them and the thought of how embarrassed they would be, and I can do nothing about it!
Now It was time to go to our own classes. We rushed and ran towards our ‘class’, Inside the class, we were all busy chatting, and some were playing, among them the one whose heart longed for, whose name I didn’t even know. That mysterious girl approached and came closer to me, saying, “Oh, now you’ve started the class? You took a leave longer than I expected; you don’t even know that you are missed dearly,” she said, waving her hand. I too handed it over my hand towards her without a second thought and replied, “I miss you all too, thank you,” with all my crooked voice.
As we all enter our own class, some students are playing and shouting at each other, and as I was a shy person and not outgoing like all my other friends were, we just sat there at our bench and talked. Just at that time, our ‘Class Master’ suddenly turned up, the classroom, more like Baazar, turned out to be so silent that you could have heard the proverbial pin drop, and we all stood together and said out loud, more like shouting, “Good Morning, Sir.” Soon the roll call started, and I anxiously waited and listened firmly to that mysterious girl’s rolled number as it went by.
As the roll goes by, after a long time, the teacher calls for ‘Roll No. 49’ A soothing voice came from the back bench: “Yes, Sir” Deep in my heart, I feel confident now that I know that mysterious girl’s roll number. Starting from that day on, I craved in my heart that lucky number, ‘Roll No. 49’
Since that day, Roll No. 49 has become the most important number in my life. Every day, whenever the teacher called out for attendance, I paid extra attention to listen to that roll number, sometimes even more than my own. So that I can learn whether she’ll be present or absent without any inquiries from others. But the fact that I didn’t get to know her name filled an amount of gap in my heart. Sometimes I listen and wait anticipately for her friends to call for her name, but sad to say, there’s not a day that I hear her name being called.
Even if I didn’t get her name, she’d still be the one among all the other names that I knew. Whom I always longed for, whom my eyes searched among the crowd, will always be that mysterious girl. One day it’s a casual dress day, and it’s Wednesday, during lunch break, while some of our friends were busy playing and running around the classroom; some played volleyball. I secretly stared at Roll No. 49 while watching the volleyball played by our friends. Our eyes were locked to each other, and we both enjoyed watching volley ball rather than playing.
If she was on the west side, I would be on the east side. I always choose to stay opposite her so that I can see her face clearly. I don’t have any words to make negative comments about her character, behaviour, or attitude; she’s such a one in a million. Although her dresses were less sophisticated, expensive, and high-end than any others, she could tell that she was living a simple and well-maintained life. We have one thing in common, which is that we are both quite introverted and withdrawn. While some of our friends were playing, sometimes if they invited us to play volleyball, we strongly refused to participate, as we always chose to be the audience.
It’s obvious that she was quite attractive and charming; she was hard to catch as she was all surrounded by a group of boys and some trying hard to capture and entertain her, but she didn’t care or show any sign of acting about these guys either. She just smiled away and never took it to heart. She was shaped with dignity and calm determination.
On social work day, we studied until 12:00 noon; in the evening, we were going to work, so we brought tools from home, and I brought my father’s knife. Then, our teacher gave us our workplaces. Deep in my heart, I wish to be in the same group as Roll No. 49 so that I can get closer to her and get to know her name. As I waited with all great anticipation, our teacher asked her to clean the school office and its surroundings, while I was asked to clean the north side of the school. My dreams were all shattered!!!
I walked to my workplace without any effort. I worked tirelessly while I was working and would gaze at her from time to time, but she never took the time to look at me or care about me. For once, I just admitted that she was really into her own cleaning. From then on, I continued with my work. While we were working, Roll No. 49 came near our workplace to dispose of the garbage. As we worked under the scorching heat of the sun, she covered her head with a scarf. I was looking at her while she passed by without thinking about anything. I accidentally fell and cut my hand with a knife that I carry. Blood was flowing so much that my friends were running towards me in terror. To my surprise, Roll No. 49 was the fastest of them all. The others were busy on how to stop the blood flow. She took my hand gently and covered it with her scarf. After a while, the blood stopped flowing.
After she finished covering my hand with her scarf, I said, “Thank you so much for letting me use your scarves; I don’t know how to thank you; ummm.. I’ll buy you a new scarf at the earliest opportunity.” She then replied, “Oh, please don’t mention it; you don’t even have to buy a new scarf; I’d be angrier if you bought it for me,” and she walked straight to her work area. On my way, I was thinking about how I told her, “I’ll buy a new scarf for you.” What if she said, “Yes?” with what money would I buy her? I can’t even make the make the effort to buy my own school sock, and it is clear to me that my parents won’t spend a pinch of money on my needs. I somehow felt rest assured when she said that it was not necessary to buy a new scarf, and again, I fell head over heels for her.
After all the kindness she has shown me, it’s kind of awkward for me to not know her name and act like I do. Even if it’s a must to know her name, or else if I asked my friend who she was and her name, I felt uneasy and worried that they might misunderstand it and that I liked her. One of my foremost wishes is to hear her name being called out by her friends. But the sad thing is that she and her friends never called themselves by their names; they called each other by some funny names, like “Sis,” and as an introvert, my self-consciousness held me back from calling them “Sis” instead of her name!
Since I didn’t have the courage to ask her name, I accepted that it was my duty to smile at her and talk first hand whenever I saw her, and I still do, for only God knows when I will eventually know her name.For a week, every morning she asked about my condition, and she would always observe my hand, whether I told the truth or not. At an instance, I got more attached and comfortable with her day by day, as she never failed to show me how much she cared.
As the day goes by, my hands are getting better, but little did she know that I’m afraid that I would not be able to talk to her since she doesn’t have any reason to start a conversation. Usually I comfort myself by saying that if she still talked to me even after my hands were getting better, I would take it as a green flag. But if she stopped talking with me after all of the things that happened, I would consider that she’s one in a million and just showed her merciful care. From then on, I waited patiently for my wounds to heal, with tonnes of unpredictable questions.
My wounds are getting better; after two weeks, we also took off the cover, but my wounds are so visible that I feel a little insecure yet quite happy that it’s the only way for Roll No. 49 to care and start conversation. For some reason, I would always look up to her, whether she talked to me or stared, whenever she passed by, and I would always put my hand out for her to see. And it was obvious that she would always look at me and gaze for a while.
Fortunately, after my injuries were healed, we talked more and more; whenever we saw each other anywhere, we never failed to talk to each other. Soon, our friends noticed us and started teasing. As far as I’m aware, I’m not sure if something good or bad is going to happen between us, but I wish to let one hell of a good thing happen!
As the teacher called for attendance, even if I was on roll no. 50, I paid more attention to roll no. 49. I don’t dare look at her seat to know whether she’d be present or absent. As the attendance went by and my mind went blank at the thought of Roll No. 49, I woke up to the sound of laughter from my friends and came to learn that I responded to Roll No. 49 but not to “Roll No. 50.” I was so embarrassed that I wanted to fly away, and at that moment, I secretly looked at her. I saw her looking at me with a sympathetic expression. She bowed down slightly and continued listening to the roll numbers being called by the teacher.
And, after the teacher left, my friends started teasing me again, but Roll No. 49 insisted, “What’s the point of laughing at someone’s mistake? We too can make mistakes, and it’s natural.” The sound of silence began just after she finished the talk. The whole period, I thought of my mistake, felt ashamed, and blamed myself for paying more attention to other roll numbers than my own, and I promised myself not to let it happen again.
It was lunch break, and the other friends went out to freshen up and revive, but I didn’t feel like going out for a break, so I sat in the classroom. Roll No. 49 came to me with a bag a bag full of chips and snacks in her hand and offered me to eat with her. At first, I denied it as I was feeling embarrassed and shy to just take her handouts, but she didn’t want to take her hand off of me, so at last I just said, “Thank you,” and took one pack of chips from her hand just to make her feel at ease.
While we were eating snacks, she looked at me with a beautiful smile and said, “I was a bit surprised when I heard your response to my roll no. Why did you do that? She asked, and by hearing her interrogative words, I just gave her a timid smile as it’s impossible to tell the truth that I’ve been thinking about her and let that happen. What if I told her the truth? Maybe she’d look down on me, so I chose to lie to her and said, “Oh, its just because of my clumsiness. I was in another world when the teacher called for our roll number, and my friends told me it sounds more like forcing me to respond quickly, and it turns out like that. I really am very sorry about it!” Then she replied, “What makes me feel sorry about it? Is it because of my roll number or what if its someone else’s roll number? Will you still feel the same way?” When she finished, she laughed nervously. I enjoyed watching her smile and losing my train of thought.
To access the full script, please make a payment of $50 via PayPal to the following email address: lithobeimokhai6@gmail.com. Once you’ve made the payment, kindly send the payment details to the same email address.
